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So many roads, so many choices, and it seems
like I've chosen them all in this short life.
Sometimes, many
times, I've chosen pain - sometimes immediate, sometimes remembered,
always real.
I chose to let it sting me like the barbs of a
nettle or an old wire fence.
I chose to bleed. I chose to let the
CD player of my mind run on one track all day - trying to hurt away the
hurt.
Many times I chose fear, chose to shrink away from the
world cloaked only in thoughts of disapproval, of not being good enough.
But
today, I have no time for pain. I have no time for fear. Don't get me
wrong. Its not because there are not things to hurt about or people who
will disapprove. But because I know now, that there is ALWAYS another
road. A road which I would much rather walk.
So today I choose
peace. I choose to not judge the world, the people in it or the things
that happen to me as good or bad. But simply to know that on a far
deeper level than I can ever be aware - I am safe. I am held. I am
worthy.
I choose to honour my body. Not only with good food,
mindful eating, and exercise. But also to remember that we are sensual
beings. I will comfort my eyes by finding something beautiful in each
thing I see. I will caress the world with my hands, make love to it with
my words, embrace it with my mind.
And throughout this day, I
will continue to make life affirming choices.
I choose to dance,
to let joy take me over completely and not worry for one moment about
the ones who might see or judge.
I choose to breathe. I choose to
breathe life in and to let it breathe me in.
I choose to laugh.
Loud and long. At the world but mostly at myself for all the times I've
taken life oh so seriously.
And most of all - I choose love. I
choose to love myself. I choose to let friend and stranger become my
love.
And when I walk into the world and see discord, I will look
harder. I will look for beauty. I will look for peace. And I will find
it. And when i meet hatred, I will open my heart so wide and let the sea
of my love wash over it - till it melts away.
And when I see a
man, woman or child in pain (whomever they be) - I will use my life's
energy to bring what healing I can. And if I cannot heal their pain, I
will kneel down and wash their feet.
Today is a new day.
And
I choose Love.
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